I received the most delightful note from my friend Elvira short time ago, which I share here along with her story with her permission.
One time, she was going through some rough times in her life. She had abandoned everything for a man that was mistreating and abusing her. I couldn't stand the situation and see that brilliant woman totally out of self-esteem.
I made myself available, and one day she asked for my help. She didn't know yet, but wanted to be out of the situation, and she was afraid and lonely. I reminded her of her self-worth, her capacity to do great things, and told her of personal, emotional, and also legal and financial options she could do and had. Maybe it was a little harsh in her ears and she didn't take it well at first, but she couldn't forget my words every single time his behavior hurt her after that.
Thirty years passed. She has changed her life, went through a difficult divorce, and today is married to a wonderful man that respects and cherishes her.
One day, I got this note from her. She said.
"A friend is the most precious asset of a person’s life. Friends can be many, but an honest friend is above all. An honest friend is straightforward in their words and actions. They can be downright rude if they come across bad things, but do not have habit of saying lies or beat around the bush. Some may think a good friend is the one who agrees with you in everything or gives you money, but the best friend is the one who present you the truth, even if you don't like it.
A friend who speaks the truth irrespective of how it would make you feel makes them the most important people to be treasured in the whole life. An honest friend cares for you so would make all efforts to encourage you, save you from wrong moves and guide you in life.
But remember, you will be grateful for this best type of friend only when you start being honest yourself, or you will hate your friend's honesty, doesn't matter how much good he/she has done for you. You can ignore or despise her/him, but you, the ungrateful dishonest, will be the one losing, living without a true friend.
I'm glad I have you as my best honest friend. I'm glad I learned to be honest too. "
My friend, it is my duty. You are very welcome. I'm the one to work endlesly to help relationships work, but everyone deserves better than abuse of any kind.
The truth may hurt, but it is worth and WILL make you free.