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The Journey in and out of the torment of depression

Life is a struggle.

Some days, we can hardly find a single reason to cope with the challenges of daily life. Our health, concern for someone we love, or the bank account statement can also be sources of despair, seeming to remind us that all of our dreams are buried, that our chances to improve life are few, and that no one can help us, because others don’t know how to achieve success in their own lives either. Our inability to enlighten ourselves makes us feel we have to grapple alone with our own feelings of inadequacy and present a facade to ensure that no one really knows how truly vulnerable we feel.

Then we really stretch our minds, trying to find something we can grab hold of to survive – that last particle of hope that you cannot even remember the last time you felt.

Next we think about our children. Our concern for them is so great that our hearts hurt and our souls cry out louder than thunder, and we realize we have to be strong for them. We hope at least to let them know what a blessing they are in our lives, and the good we can see clearly in the world because of them. We also have to help them to have hope for themselves for the future, believing their efforts will turn into rewards and bring sweet fruits of such hard labor. We have to be honest, because they have the sparkle and innocence in life and will know and feel if we live true to our axioms.

I am familiar with depression and its roots, branches, leaves, flowers, and bitter fruits. I have studied this subject and further assisted many in this lurid valley, and unfortunately I have also seen extremely mature and trained individuals caught in its grips.

The fruit of the tree of knowledge is sweet at first taste, but bitter when savored. Fortunately, I am well acquainted with the delightful taste of repentance and forgiveness. It is real. I cannot ever diminish the importance of a couple experiences that undeniably proved to me God exists, and Christ is the way.

I am also familiar with the sarcastic, subtle, cunning personality of the enemy. I call Satan the enemy, because a true friend would want peace for your life and would not erase all expectation and insight gained after conscious recollection of your choices in the life before this mortal stage.

For many years, my understanding was that our choices and consequences were the sole drivers of all events in our lives. I spent more than twenty plus learning about it, but I have abandoned my research for a better subject. In my mind, I had inherent power to crush the serpent’s head, and that was enough. It took me almost a generation to see clearly and admit he influences our choices, even when we are living righteously, and especially when the consequences of these choices will distract, repel, wean, or deviate us from the love of God.

He imparts dreadful and grisly feelings of renunciation and neglect when we believe we are solely alone to choose for our lives. When we adopt a choice that we believe is the best for us, and the result is anything but ideal, we slump; we are not prepared to face it. If the same or a different situation eventually arises again, we back down and stray, not knowing what to do.

Then the enemy instills in our minds the idea that no one can perceive our pain. This is the most ruthless, bitter, and atrocious step toward obtaining knowledge. We then glean new insight about ourselves, how we feel, how we proceed after discovering our own flawed and unrefined strengths.

We might be substantially sharp enough for small daily choices, but we fail to uprise when our hoped outcomes bust. And that is the very well in which the enemy of our souls wants us to drown. It is a self-destructive cycle.

Here is where we reach a crossroads in our lives; we feel defeated by our personal weaknesses and succumb to despair, letting him beguile us to believe freedom will pass to our children in the bloodstream, or we need to reinvent ourselves to outlast Satan’s laughs.

Unclasp your eyes and unfold your heart.

Disregard everything the abhorrent people, media, and loathsome voices in your life have interpreted for you so far. It’s tricky, sometimes grueling, to spell out alien rationalization without letting it infect you and smite your frail and feeble life puzzle. Even their highbrow speeches fail to persuade their inherent and hollow demeanors as plausibly moral before God.

Many times, in the conflict inside our minds, we bruise those we cherish most, starting with ourselves.

There is no secret solution. Victory over a depressed state takes efforts that occur one day at a time. It takes a strong will to acknowledge the small things of the quotidian and rescue ourselves from a lifeless existence. If we are tenacious enough, we will discover that we only live when we are conscious of the treasures in our lives.

While we think about our children and dig into the scholastic titles and common understanding we have achieved through our life experiences, we discover a better fruit: the fruit of the tree of life that is bitter by deception, but sweet in reality. It is undeniable that we cannot merge the loud voices of the enemy with the peaceful confidence we experience in knowing the mighty, undying, and sempiternal love of God.

Notwithstanding, we are not lonely souls, and we do not want our children to feel so, even when we all embrace our own wayward and pigheaded minds. It is not an easy thing to be shown one’s weaknesses, but this is part of achieving a contrite heart, and it is a vital, if painful but needed part of God’s plan of happiness. We have the right to live a drama-free, fulfilling life. We must surpass the bitterness pursuing the sweetness of this fruit by exercising altruism. Gratitude also can lead to feelings of generosity, compassion, and love.

When we love our children, we understand a little bit more about the miraculous and unconditional love of God for us. As we submit our hearts and will to the Lord’s, we find that our weaknesses can indeed become sources of strength. We can feel it, and the joyous taste of this knowledge of life can further enlarge our hearts, rewire our brains, and expand our souls.

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